Oh, how God loves us! His love is so great and so vast that we can't really comprehend it in our earthly, human minds. Even though life and the passage of time brings constant change for us, God's love never changes. As much as God loves me, He has gently been reminding me that He also loves my abuser.
I remember those first few days after my son was born, and how I still felt physically connected to him. When his tiny arm moved I felt my arm was moving. When he yawned, I felt sleepy. I felt so sure that he could hear my thoughts. I could distinguish his cry from all the other babies in the obstetrics floor of that hospital. That love that started forming while he was still in my womb was so magnified the moment I saw him. I can't truly imagine the agony that God must have gone through to see His son, Jesus, being crucified--for God to love US so much that He would allow HIS son to die for US--wow. Love is powerful.
I mentioned previously that I am preparing to inform my abuser's church leadership of his sin. A pastor friend has encouraged me to do so, since I have twice now given my abuser an opportunity to come clean. My abuser is in a leadership position and a teacher at his church. This process, for believers with unrepentant sin, is clearly spelled out in the Book of Matthew. The apostle Paul wanted false teachers exposed. It would be really easy for me to take my situation and, with chip on shoulder, and self-righteousness in my handbag, expose my abuser to his pastor and "show him." I have every right, scripturally, to take this to my abuser's church. And I would be embarrassing myself and God to do so with that kind of attitude.
Far too many Christians have done things by claiming "scripture", while the rest of Christianity looks on with horror and shame. If we move to do things with bitterness and a mean heart, we are NOT doing as God meant.
Time is a wonderful gift from God for us mere mortals. Time gives us the opportunity to seek wise counsel, to pray and to allow God to speak of deep wonders and truth. Time gives us the chance to renew our minds and allow God to show us our situation from His perspective. Time allows God to change our negative emotions to healthy ones - in order to hear God more clearly than ever before.
The intention in Matthew about exposing someone's sin is to bring them to repentance. It isn't to get back at them, to be mean to them, to hurt or embarrass them. If exposure is to bring them to repentance, then it has to be bathed in great love, lots of humility, and an examination of our own sin. How I judge others, I will be judged in return. For a victim to show love, grace and kindness to their abuser--that can only come from God.
Go with God and don't forget to bring His love with you.
